Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Dreaded Common Cold

The kids have been back in school for about 3 weeks now. This is the exact time of year when someone brings home the infamous, “new school year cold.” It starts with the sore throat and sniffles before progressing and filtering through the entire house.

Here is the recipe for the nasty back to school cold.


20 snot nosed punks
20 coughing little bastards
10 germy hellions
2 bathroom surfaces
1 cafeteria
1 small playground

Pre-heat the classroom to 72 degrees. Mix all of the children into the remaining ingredients. Marinate for the first 3 weeks of school and stir as needed. This will produce a common cold that will serve the entire family. Serve with a large Costco sized box of tissues and a side of 1000mg of Vitamin C.

Between my four elementary schoolers and the Ralph Lauren rep who infected my office, there was no hope that I would escape this one. There was not enough hand washing, sanitizer, Echinacea tea, zinc throat drops and Airborne to combat this mo fo. Trust me, I was getting it from both sides- school and work. I knew I was doomed.

So as I muddle through the rest of this week looking like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, I am reminded that back to school, is in fact, the most wonderful time of the year. I am sure we could avoid this entire recipe for (the dreaded nasty cold) disaster if I homeschooled.

Yeah right. Like that is gonna happen.

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