Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Third Boobie

When I say that I am rarely without blog fodder, I mean it. These kids give me material all. the. time.

Earlier this week, while I was making dinner, I overheard a conversation among the four triplets. To be clear, I was not eavesdropping. These kids speak in one volume; LOUD. While I was in the kitchen and they were in the playroom, I could hear them perfectly.

I was trying to piece together the entire conversation and I was lost. Obviously I missed a key part of the story.

Charlotte was telling the kids that she has a third boobie. She "grew-ed" one in the night and when she woke up this morning it was there. The dialogue continued into how she could feed her triplets all at once, how she would need a pretty lace "brawl" with three pouches, and how it is cool to have 3 boobies. After all this hoopla and fanfare, I decided it was time to get the whole scoop.

I entered the playroom and asked Charlotte about the third boobie. Without skipping a beat she said, "Oh Mommie, I was just telling the kids about my new third boobie, I grew-ed in the night while I was sleeping and now instead of two boobies, I have three, it is so cool!" I cocked my head to the side and squinted, Ummmmmm, kay- can I see your third boobie? Charlotte raised her shirt and showed me what upon closer inspection was in fact, a mosquito bite.

In all fairness, to a 5 year old, this was indeed a third boobie. It looked just like the other two, and it was strategically placed next to the others. I explained that it was probably a mosquito bite and if it went away in a few days we would know for sure. Charlotte seemed so disappointed that I quickly changed the subject and left her to play with her vast array of littlest pet shop figures of plastic parts and pieces.

I thought about what happened and given the genetics, this may be the only time that Charlotte can truly say she was glad to have mosquito bite tits. Let's be real, the chances of her sporting anything less than C cups in the future is slim to none.

After showers, and before bedtime, with a little calamine lotion, I painted a fake (brawl) bra over Charlotte's bare chest. Victoria's secret it wasn't. She seemed really pleased that I took her new boobie seriously. I'm sure she went to bed dreaming of the day she could breastfeed her three triplets.

I am happy to report that the third boobie has mysteriously disappeared and now, according to Charlotte she can only have twins.

Good times. Welcome to my world. Never a dull moment. There is always talk of multiples, boobs, and lingerie- even at age 5.


Lori said...

I'm so happy to see you are blogging again! I know we are FB friends but I've missed the blog.

bearie1 said...

OMG, Helene is back! Doing the happy dance here. Now if only I can pass the test to actually post this.

Helene Eichenwald Slutsky said...

Cmon. I can barely type my name yet alone the screwy test words. I'm google verification dyslexic.

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