This is a post that has been in draft mode for too long. I have tried to update the blog with the latest and greatest, but there has been a lack of greatness and a shortage of attention to detail. Since some of you have asked what is going on over here, I felt it necessary to get caught up, even if it is not all sunshine and roses.
Up until recently I have had my act semi together. I have been a full time mom, blogger, wife, gluten free chef, school transportation engineer, laundress, photographer, stylist, and bargain hunter and a half assed scrapbooker. With all these full time jobs it was wonder I was able to sustain the optical illusion that I was even close to being superwoman.
The truth is, now that I have a full time job on top of the above work load, I have lost my mojo. I am a fraud. Anyone who believes I am keeping my shit together is delusional. I am the first one to tell it like it is, and it is not good over here.
Let's see.... since my random hiatus from blogging, I have had more than my fair share of blog worthy events. I have not posted any details of the drama because no one likes a pity party. This blog is a breezy, sarcastic look at my crazy life and believe me, it has been so crazy that it is actually, unbelievable.
Even if I tried to blow smoke up your ass with sunshine, rainbows and leprechauns, I could not pull it off. Without admitting all the behind the scenes, real life chaos, I would be further perpetuating the fraud and illusion. I am all for smoke and mirrors when it comes to dressing slimmer or looking like you spent a fortune when you are on a budget, but these revelations are beyond sarcasm and witty rapport.
It is time to come clean. Without further delay, I have not been updating the blog in a timely manner because I am overwhelmed.
I am working full time at Saks because I HAVE TO WORK. Jeff lost his job over a month ago, and it means I am working to provide us with health benefits and a safety net. As much as I love working at Saks, the simple truth is, I wish I did not HAVE TO work there, but I am glad I do.
I feel like a total fraud when my co-workers marvel at my ability to show up for work on time, dressed to the nines with hair and make-up, knowing I have a big family to manage. These co-workers are easily fooled because they only see the pretty side of the story. The not so pretty picture is at home, where there are dirty breakfast dishes left in the sink all day, laundry piled up in various stages in the utility room, and stacks of unopened mail awaiting moderation. This is in addition to all the coupons I have printed and clipped, but have yet to file in my binder. Now that we are minus Jeff's paycheck, it is even more crucial that I keep up with the coupons and savings. My house is more disorganized than ever before, if that is even possible.
Let's not forget that my position is 37.5 hours a week in the store. Add to that the drive time to and from (45 minutes a day), traffic and weather related delays, extra promotional events after hours in the store, and the upcoming holiday season of extended retail hours. This leaves little down time for blogging, baking and being the old Helene.
While I am working outside the home, there are areas that are suffering. This includes the dogs; that are pissing and shitting all willy nilly in the house because they are accustomed to going outside when ever they pleased while I was around. But now that I am gone all day, they wait as long as possible, and then they go. Inside. They go, I am gone, it is gross.
Factor into the insanity that Argenida has decided to go home to Panama from December 5-28 to see her family and spend Christmas with them. While I respect her need to see them, the timing is completely wrong with relation to my schedule during the holidays. This basically means that I am working ridiculous hours, the kids are on break from school for two of the three weeks Argenida will be away, and I am sans a child care provider during my busiest time of the year. Jeff has been picking up the slack and I am grateful for his contribution. He does not micromanage tasks in his sleep like I do, and there are obvious differences in our parenting style.
I totally know that I could never be a single parent. As much as I bitch and moan about his lack of interest in organization in the household duties, Jeff is doing the best he can under the circumstances. Sadly, his best is not even close to being good enough to keep us current while I am working.
This shift of responsibilities is happening while Jeff is actively seeking a new job. As seen on the dining room table, which now resembles a small employment center. There are stacks of resumes, a printer, a laptop, envelopes, stamps, and all kinds of lists of applications and correspondence. Clearly, the goal is for him to get interviews, that lead to a position. For the last three weeks he has been fortunate enough to have interviews in Atlanta and Dallas- leaving me to shuffle kids to and from school somehow. Jeff's absence has further confirmed that I could not be a single parent for more than a week, ten days tops.
I am at my wits end. The kids are eating Amy's GF Frozen macaroni and cheese for dinner on a regular basis, the carved Jack-o-lantern is rotting on the front porch, and any free time I get is spent trying to pick up the pieces in small doses. I have given in to the fact that I am a complete fraud on the world wide web.
In short, I am getting caught up and coming clean with the cold truth of the matter. It would be easier to make some shit up, lie and continue to play nicely on the blog, but quite frankly, I do not have the time or energy to do it. So there you have it. No cutesy photos of matching multiples, no recipes for homemade meals, no fake smiles and paragraphs with poetry and puns.
It is out there. I am giving up the dream of having a clean house, a face that is well rested and free from under eye bags, and a enough disposable income to actually use my employee discount.
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