Last week, when Jeff and I were with Uncle Silvan, we begged him to shave his moustache. I begged, pleaded, bribed, threatened and shamed him into the idea that his moustache aged him and was dated.
You know the moustache is passe when you are mistaken for Frito Bandito and his burro while dining in a Mexican restaurant.
Here is my motivation for the removal of the stash. I was chomping at the bit to do some matchmaking for Uncle Silvan. When I showed the prospective date his photo, she visibly winced. Without wanting to seem shallow, she agreed he had potential- nice smile, good teeth, full head of hair, hot body- but she could not get past the facial hair. The facial hair was a deal breaker. When she said he looked like, "a 1970's porn star" I almost wet my pants.
With all this in mind, I actually bought a brand new Gillette Fusion razor at CVS (okay, so I did not really buy it, they paid me to take it with the sale price, manufacturer coupon and extra bucks promotion) and I brought it with me to Silvan's apartment. The plan was to get him drunk, have him pass out, and I would shave off the trash stash. My so called plan failed and Silvan still is sporting his full nose neighbor.
Of course, my kids are fascinated with Uncle Silvan's moustache. I am sure it is because he is the only person they know that has one- but whatever. Eli and CJ are constantly drinking chocolate milk and making themselves look like Uncle Silvan. Anytime they have a little schmutz under their nose and above their lip, one of the siblings will say, "Ha, Ha, you look like Uncle Silvan!" They love the man, and they are too young to know any better about the facial hair issue.
With all my hocking and draying about the matter, Uncle Silvan sought revenge on me. He sent the kids a special gift. He bought them each their very own, furry, stick on moustache. The choices were difficult to make, but each child selected their own style and sported them proudly for Uncle Silvan
and the blog this morning. There is something so sick and wrong about seeing a four year old girl with a dark moustache, but I will say, the children totally enjoyed themselves.
I am sure Uncle Silvan thinks this stunt will curb my enthusiasm for the old fashioned shaving session, but no, it will not. I am bound and determined to help change the world, one moustache at a time. I have the razor and I will travel.
So ladies- weigh in, will you? There is strength in numbers. You opinion counts. Please leave a comment with your unbiased viewpoint. Isn't it time we all gang up on Uncle Silvan and convince him that the time has come. Don't you think he is way more marketable clean shaven? I know he reads here, so let's give him something to ponder.
Who wants a date with Uncle Silvan after his 2011 transformation? Forget J-date, this blog is where it is at, pussycat.
I realize there are bigger problems in the world- but for now, let's all do our part to help the Uncle Silvan situation.
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