Only at my house. Only the Slutsky family would honor the matriarch with a warped celebration and comical endearment. What we lack in a bank account balance we make up for with humor. I am not sure I would change it. I would hate to be a serious, stuffy, humorless, rich family. A little?
Let me start this chronologically.
Nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" like four giggling kids before 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday. I was barely able to function at that hour, but I hugged and kissed everyone before shooing them downstairs to watch lord knows what on the DVR. I barely had a chance to get back under the down comforter before I realized someone left the remote control on my side of the mattress. I reached around to move the remote from underneath me and realized, it was my "perky" husband wishing me a good morning, happy mother's day, with his manhood. Oy. Happy Mother's Day to me. Is that the remote or are you just happy to see me?
Fourteen minutes later, Jeff went downstairs to make the children breakfast, help them make additional cards, and let me get another hour of sleep, all be it with interruptions every ten minutes to break up fights, find missing toys, and offer suggestions from deep underneath my comforter.
No one went and got me a latte at Starbucks even though I hinted at it repeatedly. Breakfast was gone and only dirty dishes and an egg yolk fork was left on the counter when I made it downstairs.
He did not go to Jared.
The triplets made stationery at the CHANEL school. These fold over cards feature a drawing on the front and are blank inside.
I love the back because instead of the Hallmark crown I have their signatures and dates. These will make beautiful thank you cards with a very personal touch.
I received a fancy new apron from the kids. They all went with Jeff to Marshall's to select just the right one.
They chose a great dress like design in a bright color. This will come in handy when I am making, serving, and cleaning up three meals, and five snacks a day for the rest of my life.
Of course, I got many cards. I am posting them here for posterity.
I can't save every single one, but I do want to document the humor from Mitchell and Amanda too,
so now they live forever on the blog and in Jpeg format.
Instead of a traditional brunch in a fancy restaurant, we opted for a more meaningful morning. We brought our NICU nurses a tray of cookies and wished them all a Happy Mother's Day.Honoring them felt like the right thing to do. Of course the kids and nurses posed for the annual photo and hugfest. Good stuff.
We then moved our party to the Market District at Giant Eagle. The kids went into the activity center to craft all kinds of special gifts for me. While they were being supervised, Jeff and I had a plethora of cuilinary treats for lunch. I read some trashy magazines, looked at the fashion photos from the wedding of Wills and Kate, skimmed the Sunday paper and surfed through the coupon inserts. Overall, it was heavenly.
When we picked up the fearsome foursome, they had pages and pages of drawings, cards, and tissue paper flowers for me. It was a fight for my attention, who could give me their creations first.I was overloaded with their creative treasures, in a good way.
It should be noted that on this celebration of my special day, I only had to cook, serve and clean up dinner. I made a gourmet spread of grilled asparagus, red wine mushroom sauce,
salted baked potatoes, grilled filet mignons, sweet red chili sauced scallops, and fresh strawberries dippedin chocolate. I enjoyed a few glasses of the red wine while preparing this feast and by the time we ate it I was in a happy place.
Jeff suggested that we go around the table and take turns making a statement about why we love Mommie. Here is the diaglogue that ensued.
Eli: I love Mommie because she loves on me.
CJ: I love Mommie because she is the best Mommie in the whole, wide, world.
Charlotte: I love Mommie so much because she hugs me.
Natalie: I love Mommie because she is the best cooker.
Amanda: I love Helene because she always makes dinner and keeps us all in line.
Mitchell: I love Helene because she makes Dad happy and when Dad is happy, everyone is happy. He went on to sarcastically say, he also LOVES that I keep a detailed account of our family life on the blog. He loves the blog sooo soooo soooo much.
Argenida: I love my host mom because she makes me her daughter.
Jeff: I love Helene because she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Comic relief right there at the dinner table. Nice huh?
Oh but it gets better. Mitchell then puts this as his status update on facebook: "while going around the table saying why we love Helene Eichenwald Slutsky my dad said "because she can suck a golf ball out of a garden hose." Only my family!"
Then, all of Mitchell's friends "liked" his status. Grreeeaaaaaaatttt!
I of course, re-posted Mitchell's status as my own, and I was glad to know that all 826 of my closest friends could share my smile. Now you can share it too!
Overall, it was a typcial Slutsky celebration. Warped. Sick. Funny. Let the record reflect that Mother's Day 2011 lives on through the internet.
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- Mother's Day 2011 a warped celebration
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