Tuesday, April 12, 2011

In the Wee Wee Hours of the Morning

Take the title at face value. My kids have been waking up before the crack of dawn for a week now. I am not sure what is going on, but there is only so much Jeff and I can take when the day begins at 5:30 a.m. with four kids claiming they have to go pee.

If these early risers were to get up, go pee, and go back to bed there would be no reason for this post. Instead, my children have been waking, conducting their business of peeing in the hallway bathroom, then going back into their rooms to reek havoc with each other. It is a full on party before the sun is up, and it is killin me.

There is screeching. There is fighting. There is the locking of the bedroom doors so that a sibling is left out the hallway begging to come into the clubhouse. There is all kinds of a ruckus while Mommie is trying to get her sleep on. Oh, yeah, and worse yet, sometimes this fiesta makes its way into our room. There are questions. There are battles to be broken up. There are feelings hurt.

I require 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. The key being the uninterrupted.

I am not sure what to do about this new milestone in raising multiples. Clearly, if they have to pee and we do not allow them to get out of their rooms, there will be a serious revolt, there will be piss everywhere except in the toilet and I will go more insane.

The solution is to make them sleep longer, so that the start of the shenanigans is after 7:00 instead of before 5:30. How do we do it? We have experimented with bedtime. It does not matter if they go to bed at 6:00 or 9:00 the night before. They do not nap. They need 12 hours of sleep. We are striving for the 7-7 schedule but it is failing miserably.

I am seriously considering inventing a product that would solve my problem. Perhaps something like this would do the trick?

Since chewable valium is already on the market, who wants to put up the seed money for me to start the trials on my dream drug: Slumber stickers? They could be just like those listerine strips,
or medicated triaminic strips that dissolve on the tongue- only instead of providing fresh breath, or cold relief, they are laced with ambien. I am onto something here people. Who is in?

This morning as the kids were playing the Fresh Beat Band before the sunrise, I was dreaming about being able to sleep uninterrupted. I need more sleep in the wee wee hours of the morning. HELP ME!

2 comments:

Heather said...

We plugged a nightlight into a timer that turns on when it's an appropriate time to get up, if the light is off, go back to sleep.

Mona Baker said...

helene,
1. take the kids to the bathroom before you go to bed after they have been asleep several hours so they won't wake so early,
2. restrict liquids after dinner to a small bit of water with teeth brushing,
3. tell them if the clock doesn't start with 7 or whatever number you choose they cannot wake anyone up, you probably have one person waking the others, give that person a quiet alternative like a book in the living room if they think they can't go back to sleep with the threat of consequences for waking up siblings

it won't last, good luck

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