Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Princess and Pirate Night at Chick-Fila, also known as Parental Hell

Sometimes as parents, we sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our children. We make plans and do things that are selfless. For example, willingly attending the princess and pirate night, family night at Chick-fila.

Oh my gawd, you have no idea how this tested every last ounce of my patience. I might be certifiably insane now. I believe this event scarred me for life. It was, in fact, that bad. My zoloft and wellbutrin were working overtime.

Since in theory, family night at Chick-fila sounds wholesome and fun, let me clue you in on what it is like; IN REALITY!

We just stumbled into this family night without really realizing it was happening. When we walked in the door, I knew we were doomed.

There were girls in princess gowns, tiaras and fancy glass slippers. There were boys dressed like pirates. These kids were probably counting down the days/hours/minutes until it was family night at Chick-fila. My kids were just lucky we picked this place on this night. We were totally unprepared to party like princesses and pirates, but we did the best we could.

Welcome to PARENTAL HELL.

This short video was recorded on my i-phone. The sound quality is only as good as the decibel level of the chaos inside the restaurant. For this, I apologize, but really, it proves my point on the torture that my senses experienced while we there. The noise, the sights, the smell, I would say you had to be there, but now, you won't to be.



The good news is that family night is always the first Tuesday of every month. We know this now, and won't make this mistake again, EVER! Yes, the kids had a blast, yes, they loved every moment of the character cow in costumes, they obsessed at the giveaways and the monkeyed around on the indoor climbing structure. Yes, they think Chick-fila is the bomb. Fortunately for Jeff and me, we only venture out to kid friendly eating establishments when we have two hours to kill, while Argenida is at her ESL class. You did not actually think I ventured out to a fast food place on a weeknight because of the meal? Oh lord, Puh-leeeze!

This was a coincidence. We chose Chick-fila because we knew the kids could play and eat without disturbing us. We thought it was the lesser of the evils in terms of the pain. We thought wrong on the first Tuesday of the month. Family Night. Shoot me now.

For the record, Chick-fila does not offer any gluten free food items- the fresh fruit cup is the only item that is safe, which is why I snuck CJ's dinner inside my gigantic Tod's leather tote bag. Note to self, I need a new Spring tote bag for movie snacks and future trips to fast food chains. Perhaps something in a festive carmine red alligator print?

I have not mentioned it before, but I hate balloons. I hate them with every ounce of energy in my body. Balloons themselves are festive and cheerful but listening to four small people fight over the colors, the shapes, the size of these things is awful. G-d forbid a balloon pops. G-d forbid a balloon breaks free from the string and floats to the 36 foot ceiling. Worse of all, G-d forbid the freaking balloon escapes the grip and flies up into the sky. Oy, it is torture. Balloons and I do not get along nowadays. I typically just say no. I learned to just say no when I was in high school and Nancy Reagan was the first lady. I said it then, and I say it now....NO!

I guess this post falls into a plethora of categories:

Vent of Frustration
Bad Parenting
Restaurant Review
Phobias
Medication
Cute Kids

Ahhhhh, welcome to Parental Hell!

4 comments:

The Husband/Father said...

I have to say that I was totally impressed with kids night. They packed the place and the kids were having a great time. And they did it without offering special coupons or discounts. Chic-fil-A has always done a super job with their marketing. So from a business perspective, its just brilliant. Next time I suggest we do our homework first before we visit a special place with the kids.

Helene Eichenwald Slutsky said...

Thank you for adding that aspect. I should have mentioned how you were marveling at the genius marketing. It was impresseive if you saw it from that perspective. I wanted to see it that way, but was in deep breathing and serenity now mode.

Carrie said...

I to hate balloons. At our house they never seem to deflate or pop. My 3 yearold clings onto them like they are her babies. When my 2nd daughter was born we were given a balloon, my 3 yearold would not let me get rid of it. It followed me into the bathroom upstairs and just "happened" to deflate. This happened 2 weeks ago, my 2nd daughter is 3 months!! That thing lasted 3 months!!

We are a peanut free family, happily no Chick fil A for us!

Shanci said...

Are you sure that the fruit cup is the only GF item? If I'm not mistaken, they have grilled nuggets, fries, and the fruit that all qualify as GF. Also, most Chick-fil-As have a special button that they can push that alerts the kitchen to an allergy so that they take extra care with your food.

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