Thursday, February 10, 2011

Valentine "V" Trends

I saw this article from Allure Magazine, and I wondered if it was a joke. After my posts on vajazzling, I was not totally naive to trends in the waxing and decorating within the bikini line, but I wondered, do people really groom themselves for Hallmark holidays?

Are vaginas so in vogue that fashion and style magazines feature tips on how to stay current in the zone?

Here is the article, I have taken the liberty of cut and pasting it.

We're in the final countdown for Valentine's Day—a week that moves many an ordinarily sane woman to get a heart-shaped bikini wax or a pink-and-red rhinestone rose vajazzled across her crotch. So what are the major waxing trends for 2011? We spoke to top waxers in several cities to find out the big (and very little) V-trends they're seeing this V-Day.

New York City: Tiny Triangle
"The best Valentine's Day wax means letting it grow wild for a few weeks before. Then, right before V-Day, get a tiny triangle of hair buzzed super-short, starting at the top of the lips; everywhere else is waxed bare."
—waxer Lidia Tivichi of the Kimara Ahnert salon
Dallas: Shapes
"When not going bare, our biggest shape requests are for a 'V' for V-Day, Cupid's arrow, or a lightning bolt."
—waxer Candance Spilman of the Bliss spa
Chicago: Bald Eagle
"Sixty percent of women will opt for our 'honeymoon wax'—that's completely bare. Thirty percent get a Brazilian with a landing strip at thin as your pinky, or some of them just want a little tuft the size of a stamp. The other 10 percent get the 'French' style, where the hair looks like an arrow pointing down."
—waxer Jeannette Abou-Mourad of the Sisters Skin Care and Waxing salon

Los Angeles: Tiny Triangle
"One of the most requested styles we're receiving right now is a full Brazilian (taking off everything on the sides and back), but leaving a small triangle, instead of a straight landing strip, up front."
—waxer Michelle Mapes of Stark Waxing Studio
Miami: Shapes
"We've actually had guys coming in for a pyramid-shaped 'he-wax.' Women have been wanting the full monty, or a heart or their guy's initial. Last week, one of my clients requested a 'T' for Tom."
—waxer Megan McGhee of the Bliss spa
What are you planning for your Valentine's Day reveal?

Hmmmm, apparently, I am in the minority. I did not realize that I should be doing seasonal themes with my appearance down there. Eeek gads, does this mean I have to buy some heart shaped glittery temporary tattoos at Big Lots or worse yet, take the time and energy to dye the color? I can't stand the thought of having to do more maintenance, so perhaps I will stick with red pedicured toes and call it a night. Jeff is just glad to be in the vicinity of the area, he is not picky about the color or shape of the drapes.

For my lady readers, please chime in, and let me know if all this vajazzling and custom decorating is ridiculous...I am thinking there is no way I can keep up. First Valentine's day, then what, bunny ears for Easter and Stars and Stripes at Fourth of July. I am lucky if I even get to take a shower every day yet alone, spruce up the goods on a regular basis. Am I completely out of touch, or are you guys playing the game?

Sorry Jeff, this year you are getting custom made coupons and none of them can be redeemed for personalized parts. Happy Valentine's Day all the same, from your wife, the plain jane.

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