Monday, February 28, 2011

The Ten Commandments of Parents

Every afternoon when CJ gets home from school we have the best talks. He just sits on the potty for like thirty minutes and we discuss all kinds of issues. This kid just likes a potty pal. Some days it is me, others he accepts the kindness of a canine potty pal.

Without revealing more than anyone needs to know about his bathroom habits, the kid sits on the throne and takes his time. He often reads, plugs his nose, and calls me in to the bathroom for stimulating conversations. I am not sure if his poop schedule is by slow by choice, but I do not care.

Today, CJ was in religious mode. He was yammering on and on about Shushan, Kings, Purim and Prayers. He wanted to know the answers to some very specific questions. I consulted Aaryn via text messages, placed a few fake cell phone calls to the rabbi and I pretended to understand all the Hebrew language lessons he was spewing.

CJ was conflicted about the prayers before meals and snacks. At a birthday celebration in the kindergarten class, he was given a gluten free, cinnamon sugar donut. He did not know whether this warranted a hamotzi or a mizonot for the blessing. I hadn't a clue, so when I texted Aaryn she confirmed that when eating a donut the bracha is in fact mizonot. Thanks Aaryn, you are a lifesaver!

At age five, this child is a sponge. He does not miss a beat. If it can be learned, retained, and repeated, CJ can do it regardless of the topic.

As we finished up the bathroom session CJ asked me if I like wiping tushies? I went on a little rant about how no one really enjoys wiping tushies, but as a parent, you have to do it. He nodded and took in my pain. I could tell he was processing our conversation. Then CJ asked me, "Do all Mommies and Daddies have to wipe their kids tushies?" Again, I nodded and said, "Yeah, it is like a parent rule, when you have children it is pretty much something you have to do, like it or not, Mommies and Daddies have to do it!"

CJ said, "So maybe wiping tushies part of the parents' ten commandments....thou shall wipe thy child's tushie!"

I honestly can not make this shit up. Literally. So I guess he nailed it. It got me thinking, what are the other nine parents' commandments?

To be continued...

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