Saturday, September 18, 2010

My Anniversary Antics

A few weeks ago I asked Jeff what he wanted for an anniversary gift. We will be celebrating 8 years you know. My husband wants a flat screen tv. Another one. As if we need anymore idiot boxes.

Instead of a flat screen I decided to buy him a flat forehead. After the whole "grandpa" thing a month ago, I thought my man could use some help looking younger.

I bought him botox.

I am serious. Yes, I did.

He asked for flat screen, and he got flat skin. Screens? Skin? What's the difference?

I took him to see his dermatologist, Dr. Maralyn Seavolt and I had her inject him with botox while the kids were happily playing downstairs. Jeff was really pleased that we got free child care. He was all over that part of the deal.

Plus, Dr. Seavolt is the MOHS surgeon that saved his life back when Charlotte found his cancer. It does not hurt that Dr. Seavolt is gorgeous, friendly, professional and truly talented. Jeff digs her too. In fact, I think he has a crush on her, so he was all too glad to see her, even if it meant getting stuck with sharp needles in his face. A more insecure wife would have found someone else, but nope, not me.

As his wife, and the generous gift giver, I went along with him. I watched and took photos for the blog. Since he can't bitch about my diarrhea of the mouth and about the blasted blog, this was the perfect chance for me to whip out my camera and start snapping.

This is the before botox appearance of "grandpa" Jeff. You will notice the deep furrows
in this forehead along with the crows feet, character lines and number eleven between his eyebrows.

Here's Jeff during the treatment as Dr. Seavolt dosed him up in all the areas of concern.

Her guided needle plunged botox deep into his creases and we waited for the lines to fade away into oblivion. Jeff was calm and did not even flinch as she jabbed him repeatedly. My husband is a trooper. He totally went along with me on the botox gift and for that, I am grateful.

After the appointment we kept checking his new and improved face for the signs of a more youthful appearance. As the evening progressed the deep wrinkles were erased and his forehead was as flat as a plasma screen in HD.

We toasted our anniversary with Timbits from Tim Horton's in the lobby of the Ohio Health building while the kids played with marble works and glitter in the other area of the lobby. I kept making wise cracks about what a young husband I have, and I suggested he practiced saying things like, "Don't hate me because I am beautiful!"

My anniversary celebrations are now in full swing. Stay tuned all week for more Helene-like schemes. Perhaps I will trot over to Big Lots and buy some sparkly temporary tattoos for the real anniversary antics.

25 year anniversary is Silver
50 year anniversary is Gold
8 years, 6 kids and a Jack Russell= BOTOX

Happy Anniversary honey, I love you! Flat screen forehead and all!

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