Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hot Damn, I found a cure!

I have no intentions of downplaying the whole Sukkah envy epidemic, but now, I am sporting a full on sinus infection. Hello, Karma, Is that you?

What began as seasonal allergies has morphed into a raging sinus infection complete with all the trimmings. Lovely.

Thankfully, the kids are in school during the first part of the week. Of course, with all the Jewish celebrations in Fall, they are out of school on Thursday and Friday with early dismissal on Wednesday. Have I mentioned that we have not had a full week of classes yet? Do you think the Catholic schools get this much time off? Doubtful. Is it too late to switch? Same guilt, different food?

While the kids are at school I am at home nursing this godforsaken sinus infection. I have a tub of Vicks Vap-o-rub and while slathering myself head to toe, I am under the covers with a box of Puffs with lotion at my bed table. I am drinking copious amounts of hot water with lemon during the day, taking antibiotics, mucinex, cough drops, zinc lozenges and spoonfuls of honey. It is working- I am borderline functional. Borderline is a step above death warmed over on my scale.

I would use one of those nasal rinse thingamajigs but they make me throw up. My gag reflex is so strong that the netti pots and sinus rinse bottles make me literally barf. Otherwise, I would be all for adding this to the list of homeopathic must do's. Clearer sinuses good, hurling mucous and chunks is bad, very bad.

I have developed a new evening elixir to ease the discomfort associated with battling a heavy duty sinus infection. My bootleg cure is much like one Granny concoctedon the Beverly Hillbillies. If memory serves, Granny made her potions in a still and they cured just about any problem.

Allow me to share my recipe for Sinus Infection pain. My medicine is easy to make, tastes great, smells divine (just ask Argenida who thought I was baking) and works like a charm. Simply steep two bags of Sweet Dreams Night Time chamomile tea in a large mug. When the tea is brewed, remove the bags and add as much HOT DAMN cinnamon schnapps as you can stand.Sip the tea until you fall asleep. Repeat as necessary until you must function as a responsible adult.

I am onto something here. Seriously, the combination of pharma, alcohol, herbals and rest are working.

HOT DAMN!

Sweet Dreams!

1 comment:

Sabrina said...

You know, the sinus rinses aren't all they're cracked up to be. They're pretty nasty themselves, and while you feel a bit better temporarily, it doesn't last. I'm telling you I've used it no less than 3 different times I was sick, and I felt better for maybe 2 hours after each "rinse". Also, it's horrid and I almost barfed several times. I also have this weird bulging eye feeling, and I'm always afraid that disgusting salty water stuff is going to shoot out of my tear ducts. Gross, I know. Feel free to barf now. I always squeeze my eyes together really hard. Anyway, it's not really worth the $...I've never used a neti pot though...

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