Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Husband, the Volunteer Shake Weight

I am sure by now you have seen the television commercials for the revolutionary gizmo called the shake weight. This product is designed to tone and shape the upper arms of women.

I can tell you right now, that the motion this device provides is strikingly similar to a sexual act you can do for FREE. Jeff and I have laughed at the absurdity of this exercise machine, and he has willingly volunteered himself to help me tone my arms. The man is selfless like that. He will allow me to use his member instead of the shake weight.

I had to post this today because the commercials are running all the time. Every time, each and every time, I see this I crack up. Who knew you could get a great work out in only six minutes of jacking your husband off? My husband and I are looking forward to my ultra toned and super sexy upper arms without the real shake weight. I will now refer to our 6 minutes of foreplay as my personal training session. I won't need to waste my "hard" earned money on the machine, because I can do the same thing by hand. Literally.

Perhaps with the money I will save on purchasing my very own Shake Weight, I can buy a new black tank top, and show off my success?


Alice said...

OMG Helene! I am totally blushing right now!!! Six minutes....seriously??? You're a rockstar!

The Husband said...

Six minutes. You're dreaming dear!

The Husband said...

I like that they offer a total money back guarantee. For any reason you can return it. I want to meet the people who restock the inventory. Do they wear a HazMat suit?

Michele S said...

But wait. If that worked, wouldn't our men have arms like Popeye The Sailor?

Helene Eichenwald Slutsky said...

Michele, you raise a valid point which is why I think the shake weight concept is bogus. For the sake of science, I am willing to give it the old college try. Pun intended.

Who knows maybe when I see you in Vegas my arms will be toned enough to wear a sleeveless dress? Either that or Jeff will be in a wife beater tank top with his bulging biceps ala Popeye the Sailor.


The Husband said...

First of all, Popeye only had bulging forearms. Second of all, if the motion actually worked, you'd likely only see development on one arm.

Helene Eichenwald Slutsky said...

Touche love, Touche.

It was Brutus that had the big ol biceps, and he was the horn dog after Olive all the time, right?

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