Monday, April 26, 2010

It is not all sunshine, rainbows and roses

This is a blog post that documents the actual life of Helene Slutsky, it has not been edited to make it viewer friendly. This post is in the original format and contains graphic images of life with triplets plus one. Read and watch at your own risk. No children were harmed in the making of the video.

My children are well behaved a majority of the time. Especially in public. As a rule they are far less likely to have a full meltdown outside our home, but on occasion, it happens. I have more patience than the average mom, but once in a great while my kids totally test my limits.

While Jeff was out of town and Argenida was off doing I am not sure what, I ventured to Costco with all four of the kids. This is a regular outing for us, and there are behavioral expectations. My kids know that they are to sit in the cart. They understand that when they show me they can act like ladies and gentleman there are rewards. Sometimes we get a snack bar treat, sometimes they get their hands stamped with a happy face as we exit. These are the currencies that get us through the store with four kids and one adult.

Going to Costco is fun for them. There are numerous samples of foods I normally would not feed them, but allow them to try at Costco. There are large swing sets on display along with inflatable pools and other enormous toys. We tour the warehouse and watch for the street sweeper. My children love Costco almost as much as I do.

Once in a great while, like this last trip, we get to see the box crusher. There is nothing more entertaining to my cart full of kids than the mechanical box crushing machine. They will sit and watch the show for twenty minutes. The Costco employees collect a flat bed full of empty cardboard boxes and they load them into the machine. When the handle is pulled and the boxes are pulverized until they are flat as a pancake, my kids hoot, holler and cheer.

This is pure 4 year old joy. Costco is full of adventure. Sometimes the box crusher, sometimes a blender demo and a massage chair. Who knew?

As I mentioned earlier in this post, there are times when it is not all Costco sunshine, roses, and friggin rainbows. On this last visit, Eli purposely dumped his yogurt sample in Natalie's hair. Charlotte would not stay seated and tested the limits until I had to force her tush into the seat and buckle her in. Natalie kept whining and would not quit. They monkeyed around touching displays from the cart. They intentionally dropped stuff out of the basket and onto the floor. They were awful.

It was all I could do to try to keep them from annoying the other shoppers. No one wants to witness children behaving badly, especially me. I gave them the stink eye. I spoke in my serious voice where I barely move my lips but sternly state the rules. I even redirected them numerous times in the hopes that my distractions would channel their behavior elsewhere.

FAIL.

Welcome to Hell, where this Mommie is outnumbered by persistent and willful children. I did my best to finish my shopping and get them into the van asap. No stops for frozen yogurt or a mocha freeze. We were headed directly to the van. CJ was the only one who had good behavior and you can bet I was praising him the entire way out the door. I was truly making an example out of his ability to make good choices. I could tell the other kids understood what they did wrong, yet they continued to make poor decisions. They were behaving like maniacs, ON PURPOSE!

As the receipt checker marked off our bill, she asked if they could have a happy face stamp? OH NO! NOT THIS TIME. NO WAY. I told her that sadly, only CJ used his best behavior in the store, and that he was the only one who earned a happy face. She inked him up with a happy face stamp on the back of his hand and we left. The other three went completely ballistic. Screaming. Temper tantrums. Crying. Absolute hysteria. I continued to smile as I pushed the cart full of groceries and banshees in the parking lot.

I did my best to capture this on video because most of the time when I just pretend to record them, they cease and desist immediately. This time, they were out of control. This is my own HELL!

video

and I got it for your viewing astonishment. Are you mortified?

As I was making the video several other patrons were horrified at the spectacle. I just smiled and asked them if they wanted to buy a ticket to hell? Most of them laughed and did the whole- "been there done that" smile back, but one guy offered me a hand getting the bags into the van so I could buckle them up and get outta dodge. He was obviously a dad to some toddlers because he totally got it.

So when you look at the blog and see all the sunshine and smileys you should know that my kids are NOT perfect. They are normal, ordinary children that test their mother once in a while.

Anyone want to buy a ticket to hell? I still have some really good seats available!

7 comments:

jessica said...

I adore you even more that you admit that you have crazy bad days! OH! I experience those days still.. I often wonder WHY they are 5/5/7 and still having lunatic days....

Kirsty S said...

*giggle* I love how CJ has got his hand very protectively over his happy face stamp... just in case one of the other kids tries to swipe it or something. *giggle*

Julie said...

You are truly the best mom ever. It is reflected in all the things you do for your kids. They are going to love you for it when they are married and have their own families.

Rachel said...

I feel your pain sista.. I really, really do... except I only have two children that sometimes behave ahem 'that way'. I love how they hid their faces when you were trying to video them... priceless! Hang in there... I'm sure Disneyland will go much smoother.... right?! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Love it! Although I turned down the volume before starting the video, they were actually not as loud as one of the videos when they were happy! Babette

Michele S said...

The kids and I just watched this and laughed and laughed.

Beautiful.

Two words: Tomato stake.

The Husand said...

I really like how they turned away from the camera just like a mafia suspect on a perp walk in front of a court house. Really glad I missed this outing.

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