Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Deer in My Headlights

I took all the kids to breakfast at Whole Foods. Jeff was out of town again and we were up and out by 7:25 to take Argenida to school. I saved a good thirty minutes by NOT feeding the kids breakfast before we left.

After dropping Argenida downtown, I schlepped out to Whole Foods in Dublin. I bought a box of Puffins and a quart of yogurt

along with some fresh fruit. The kids copped a spot at the pint sized table. They devoured their parfait
yogurt sundaes before playing. My little learners took turns using the chalkboard.

We played restaurant and the chef prepared the meal in the Step2 kitchen. We read stories. It was a delightful way to spend the wee hours of the morning.

I even let the kids take turns taking my photo. I proudly held my coffee as if it were my badge of courage.

As you can see, I was looking especially fetching considering the ungodly hour in which I was up and moving before the liquid infusion of caffeine. These photographs are untouched and unedited- ha ha ha.

After the kids had played for an hour, we did a little more shopping around the store. As we moved through the frozen foods I was approached by a good looking guy in a pressed dress shirt and slacks. He smiled and engaged me conversation. I had assumed he was going to ask me where to find an item as if he were lost. Then, after a few brief exchanges, he said, "I would love to take you out for coffee or drink sometime." I actually turned around to see if there was someone standing behind me. I could not fathom the question.

Me:(shocked and dismayed) Are you insane?
Guy: No, not at all.
Me: Do you realize these four kids are MY CHILDREN?

Guy: (looking at my boobs and not hearing a g-dammed word I said) Huh???
Me: I said, these are my kids.
Guy: (making eye contact) They are yours? You are not a teacher?
Me: (nodding) Right, so that drink- yeah, not gonna happen."
Guy: (laughing) Okay, nice talking to you.

I am pretty sure after reflecting and re-hashing the scenario in my mind, this man thought I was on a legitimate field trip and was the teacher. He was staring at my boobs like a deer in the headlights. (literally caught in the headlights) He was not able to think and process the situation at all. Boobs have that mind numbing affect I guess. So ladies, if you are a single mom, there is hope for dating. Just pack up your kids, wear a supportive bra and head on over to Whole Foods. You might just get lucky.

As we left the store my kids had to stop and smell the roses. And herbs.

Life is too short not to smell the basil.

Whole Foods- where else can you go for breakfast, groceries, garden gazing and a pick up?


Anonymous said...

That just means that you still got it/you never lost it! You Go girl!

The Husband said...

Honey, to be fair, you do have some really nice boobs.

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