Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Preparing for Cornea Surgery

As I type this I am getting ready to say buh bye to squinting at the computer monitor, relying on the GPS to read street signs and not being able to read the scroll on the bottom of the television. My intacts arrived and I am scheduled for the surgical procedure to re-shape my corneas at 11:30 today. The other eye will be done tomorrow. Hello clearer vision through modern medicine.

The surgical scheduling technician called and made sure I understood my pre-op instructions. No food or drinks after midnight, arrange transportation to and from the center, and the standard bring your insurance card and photo identification. Gotcha! Then, she dropped a bomb on me: She told me I need to wear loose clothing and comfortable shoes to the surgi-center. Really? Hmmmm, I do not own any gawd awful comfortable shoes because I am a fashionista and if the shoes are not pointy, painful, height elevating and expensive, I am not interested. Me? Comfortable Shoes? Eeek Gads, no way. The horror. I am still wondering how to handle this situation.

I wanted to confess that I just had a tummy tuck and I would not be caught dead in loose fitting, Soccer Mommie, Schlumpadicka schmatas anymore, but instead I just acted as if I was going to comply with the demands. This outta be interesting. I am not usually at a loss for appropriate attire, but this time, I admit I am out of my league.

I have asked Jeff to update the blog after my surgery. I will be pleasantly medicated afterwards and since they will be repeating the technique on the other eye again tomorrow, I am looking forward to a few peaceful days of drifting in and out of the land of nod. I will be sleeping with one of those posh slumber masks so that I can't accidently rub my eyes. If I had those sexy satin mules with maribou trim, I could be just like Eva and Zsa Zsa. I just adore a penthouse view, Dahling I love you, but gimme Park Avenue.

Remember, Jeff is a writer but he was a horrible English student. I can't take responsibility for his grammar and spelling. He did a decent job of keeping the blog and everyone current when I was in the hospital last time, so I should give him the benefit of the doubt. If he dares to post any photos of me in anything resembling athletic shoes, there will be Hell to pay.

When it comes to preparing for cornea surgery, I am taking a wait and see approach. Pun intended.

1 comment:

Shellie said...

We are thinking of you as you endure two more surgeries. Planning on your healthy recovery. Thank you Jeff for updating the blog. Be a good nurse.

Thinking of you,

Shellie and Danny

ps. we'll be thinking of you as we hold Moshe this week.

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