Sunday, December 27, 2009

New Rules

Parenting is never easy.. When it comes to rules and regulations sometimes you make things up as you go along. After the last couple of days Jeff has instituted some new rules of his own. He is on the rampage like a Paternal Jewish Bill Maher figure, with the same swear words and R rated language, only not on HBO.

My husband has put his foot down and has stated, that in the future:

"All products and gifts that require assembly must be assembled prior to delivery or before they are generously given to our children!"


I am sure other parents of small children understand his new rule. Even the smallest, simplest toys require hours of following directions, various tools, batteries and general construction know how. Multiply that (in our case) times four and add impatient kids who just want to play with what they see on the outside of the box.

You should have heard the swearing as Jeff tried to assemble the zhu zhu pets habitats. Each one contained about 276 small pieces that were secured to cardboard with wires and screws. The instructions were in that teeny tiny print that forced him to wear his glasses and scratch his head with disgust. I am sure Jeff was ready to chuck the various hamster gizmos and call it a day. I heard him say, "EFF the EFFIN ZHU ZHU pets" more than a few times.

Jeff half wondered if perhaps the Uncles were plotting some sort of revenge or conspiracy theory against him. It was probably just a coincidence that the darling presents selected by his brothers were the gifts that called for some serious put together. Intentional or Coincidence?

I would have taken photos of Jeff diligently working his ass off but I was afraid of the cursing and finger gestures that would have been hurled at me and my camera. Remember last year when Papa and Jeff tried to construct the Rose Petal Cottage.Trust me, this was sort of a deja vu. Same song, different verse. When it was all said and done, my ever so patient husband had put together a play tent, a tunnel, several (EFFIN ZHU ZHU PET)robotic hamster accessories, and a marble vortex.

The new rules would prevent having all the kids hover over him as he attempts to assemble the toys. This is what it looks like when your four "helpers" are trying to assist in putting together a marble vortex toy.

Can you try to understand the need for the new rules?

Here are photos of our children enjoying the gifts from their relatives,

and celebrating the handiwork of their loving father.

The New Rules by Jeff Slutsky-Eat your heart out Bill Maher.

P.S.- this post is not meant to be ungrateful to those who have lovingly given my children gifts, it is just a blog rant that humors those who can relate to the pain. You know who you are.


Michele S said...

I intentionally give my friends and relatives the shit with the most parts. It's the only way I can truly share the pain with my loved ones.

Meanwhile, over here on the "S" ranch we are still, three days later, putting stuff together. I might lose my left index finger from tearing metal and tape of the damn boxes. I want to go undercover and see who actually puts those things in the boxes. Is there an island of deranged midgets working as slave laborers? There is, isn't there?

Anonymous said...

Brim over I acquiesce in but I think the collection should have more info then it has.

The Husband said...

New Rules: My family must start paying attention to my new rules. I was ignored when I said New Rule: Just one more child and we somehow ended up with four. Then I tried again: New rule: no more living things in the house. No pets, no plants. I didn't even want to adopt a highway. Yet they added Lenny the Jack Russell. I must contact Bill Maher and see what I'm doing wrong.

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