Monday, November 16, 2009

The Non-Vomit Streak is Over

One of my all time episodes of Seinfeld is the Dinner Party/Cinnamon Bobka show. It is classic. While waiting in the bakery for the bobka, Jerry eats a black and white cookie. This is the discussion about what happened afterwards.

ELAINE: What's the matter with you?

JERRY: Uh, I don't feel so good.

ELAINE: What's wrong?

JERRY: My stomach, I , I think it was that cookie.

ELAINE: The black and white?

JERRY: Yeah.

ELAINE: Not getting along?

JERRY: I think I got David Duke and Fahrikan down there.

ELAINE: Well if we can't look to the cookie where can we look?

JERRY: I feel like I'm going to throw up.

ELAINE: Hey, what about your vomit streak?

JERRY: I know, I haven't thrown up since June 29th, 1980.

I bring this matter to your attention today because, to my knowledge, Charlotte has never thrown up. Ever. In Seinfeld speak, her non-vomit streak ended today after a long run of 2 years, 4 months, 4 weeks and one day. She had a good run don't you think?

Her barfing episode was in part my fault. I took her to Trader Joe's with me while the triplets were at Temple Beth Chanel. We got a few feet into the door when Charlotte saw some samples. Normally, when CJ is along I have to monitor the samples for ingredients and dyes, but today, I just randomly gave her the cheese sample that was encased in a muffin tin paper wrapper. I should have taste tested it myself but I was chewing a new piece of gum. So I basically handed over the sample to Charlotte and did not really think much of it.

About ten seconds after she ate it she gave me the face- the OMG that was the nastiest thing ever face. I had her spit out the cheese and I was able to toss the sample in the trash. I admit it was stinky- one of those rancid brie like soft cheeses that needs apricot jam drizzled on it to make it taste decent. We got about ten feet away from the bad brie scene when Charlotte projectile vomited. It was as if the brie did not sit well. I could not blame the ebony and ivory like Jerry Seinfeld did with the black and white cookie, but I do blame myself.

I have a hunch watching a two year old eat a sample of brie then puke is just plain bad for brie sales.

Charlotte, I am sorry Mommie fed you smelly cheese at Trader Joe's. I am documenting this for the blog that will become your legacy. Please forgive me for ending your non-vomit streak, it was not your fault.

and I offer some photos of Jerry Seinfeld rather than pictures of hurl. And, no I did not take pics of the Haz Mat scene at Trader's, instead, I got the hell out of there, and high tailed it home.

But for those who know me well, if I had not married Jeff Slutsky, Jerry Seinfeld would have been a candidate. Jerry was the first Jewish Guy I ever had a crush on- still do actually.

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