Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Queen has returned to the castle where she contiues to pass gas

OMG! As much as I love Jeff making an effort to update the blog I am mortified that there were sooo many spelling mistakes. The difference between writing a book and writing a blog comes down to this: Blog Writing takes little talent but a knack for humor and wordy conversation. Writing a published book takes cash and an editor. I many not have real published works yet but at least you can follow along with me via pictures and descriptions. Hey, you might even learn something too!

I am home now. I have a few drains, one to pump liquid out around the incision and one to pump pain meds in around the same area. It is not pretty but I am quite surprised at how good I feel. My normal motto, "It is better to look good than to feel good" died with the birth of 4 kids in 19 months. But today it has been re-instated. My daily goals in recovery include passing out all the air that was pumped into my abdomen, this is also know as flatulence. My best medicine if you catch my drift, is to fart. Now I have to be patient and allow the swelling to subside so I can get a glimpse of the real beauty of a flatter, scar less belly.

I wonder if the Home Owners' Association will put up road hazard signs near our home. Perhaps I should trade my triplets plus one rear window decal for one of these? Pass with caution when you spy this on my minivan.

I bet you would have to get some kind of special allowance from the Home Owners Association and place a warning sign referring to the volume of gas as I have been blasting.Don't be surprised if this placard is nailed on every street light in our neighborhood.

The kids and Jeff managed to do okay. As I expected there were moments of panic and chaos- nothing new there. The children appear to have no permanent damage from this event. My front tushie is gone and I need a shower-- that is all they needed to know.

Who Double Dog dares me print a no fart zone sign and hang it out front by the stop sign? It might just be worth the HOA fines. This further proves why I have a blog and not a book on the shelf at Borders.

4 comments:

Shellie said...

Helene,

I'm glad you're home and recovering. Remember, lift nothing heavier than your 5 lbs, which does not include a gallon of any liquid (I found out after the fact.

Thank you Jeff for the blogs.

Shellie said...

oops, I had a typo.

please remove "your" in front of 5 lbs.

Anonymous said...

I thought your hubby was funny and didn't even notice the spelling mistakes - ha! Glad you are feeling ok.

Ellen Mrukowski said...

as I scrolled down a few posts, I just ASSumed that Jeff did the honors of posting the fart signage ... for which you would be soooo thankful you turned the reigns over to him even briefly! Cracks me up that it was your post. Glad to hear recovery is going well. Don't hesitate to holler if you need anything, or need to send the kids somewhere for an half-day. We're around :)

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