Monday, July 6, 2009

What do "NORMAL" families talk about during dinner?

Last night we took the "older" kids out for dinner at Mc Cormick and Schmicks to celebrate their July birthdays.

Uncle Silvan and Argenida were with us so it was a lively table of 6 adults. The restaurant custom prints the menus twice a day based on what is fresh and available, so when you make the reservation they ask if you are celebrating a special occasion.Our menus wished Mitchell and Amanda a happy birthday at the top of the page.

As we were waiting for our meal our conversations were somewhat less than mature. Okay, so they were immature and raunchy and we were laughing like loons.and at one point Amanda said," I wonder what normal families talk about during dinner?" I guess we wouldn't know since our topics included:

Mitchell's serious looking face for photos (looks like he is constipated)
Uncle Silvan's super sonic sexual prowess from his teen years (and the bragging rights with his friends)
CJ taking a large dump on the floor of his room while Mitchell was babysitting
Jeff and Mitchell were teasing Argenida about her "HOT" sister
Their were some un-funny puns, X-rated jokes and general hilariousness

I was able to royally annoy the kids by taking photos for the blog. They make fun of me for documenting our crazy life but I am sure they will thank me someday. Amanda made a point of reminding me to take more pictures for the blog. The blog the blog the blog. I knew she was mocking me but I thanked her as if she was being serious.

Then Mitchell proceeded to pose in the cheesiest possible ways alternating between being overly sticky sweet, and flipping me off.

Everyone got very quiet when the food arrived
and Mitchell ate his lobster while appearing to be constipated. The birthday guests received a mini dessert
which was really appreciated and promptly consumed by all the immature idiots sitting with us.

I enjoyed two dirty vodka martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives and was blitzed to the point of allowing Jeff to make out with me in the back seat of the Camry while Mitchell and Amanda sat in front and drove us home. It was not pretty. I am sure this is normal in most families right? Right?

We brought the little kids a piece of gluten free chocolate torte. When the waiter was explaining the dessert selections he mentioned the gluten free choice and we felt obligated to bring a slice home. My logic was two fold, first- this would encourage restaurants to offer such an item, and second- the children would get to feel as if they were part of the special evening. I divided the dense (flourless) chocolate cake into pieces and let them strip down and eat it.

did not realized Charlotte stripped all the way down, but since dessert was immediately followed by showers, it was not a big deal, and it was precious to watch her devour the dessert in the buff.

We are just normal, right?


Anonymous said...

you are so NOT normal - and that's precisely what keeps me coming back! hilarious.

ree said...

In MY family, with a father that used to be a farmer when he was growing up, we got to hear stories about how they artificially impregnated cows. Eww! To say nothing of birthing stories of said cows as well as how Grandma would butcher the chickens.

Our family motto is "we put the fun in dysfunctional!"

We're normal too, right? :)

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