Monday, July 27, 2009

An Open Letter to my Uterus

Dear Uterus,

Thank you for 40 years of service. You have recently done your duty carrying four babies to viability and for that I am quite thankful. I could not have done it without you.

Lately you have been troubled with pesky fibroid tumors and have grown to mimic an 18+ week pregnancy, so although I am not with child, I look as though I am due in 5 months. I am not sure you understand the importance of this, but suffice it to say, since I am not expecting a child, appearing pregnant is not fun anymore. This is a customer service issue that I can no longer tolerate.

I have made an important decision for the both of us. Consider this your termination letter with 10 days notice. Your services are no longer needed. As of August 6, 2009 we will be parting company and I wish you all the best in your future.

Please see Dr. Bokor for your exit interview.

Thank You,
Helene

3 comments:

B said...

oh my! the title of this post was enough to slay me. best to you - and to your soon-to-be-departing uterus. indeed, it (she, surely) has served you well.

Ms. Perky said...

Well, that is NO fun at ALL. Good luck!

Michele S said...

So long uterus. Wish mine could join you.

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