Saturday, July 25, 2009

The New and Improved Slutsky Family Mission Statement

When the kids were first born I created a family mission statement so that even under the most sleep deprived of days, I would not lose my focus. I used our family mission statement as my mantra and it worked, I survived infant triplets and lived to tell about it. The original statement went something like this: Our family is dedicated to creating rich traditions and extraordinary experiences with our children. As parents we feel that with our connecting children leads to positive and strong memories that will help us develop a strong sense of belonging and individuality. We strive to achieve this goal by doing the least amount of psychological damage to their spirit.

After day three in Virginia Beach we need a new mission statement. The above bullshit is no longer cutting it and I have witnesses. I am considering a brand new and improved mantra to help me get through the long and trying days when the kids desperately need but boycott their nap. I am officially changing the statement to read:

Our family is dedicated to getting from one day to another without doing physical, emotional or permanent damage to the children and their parents.

I could blow smoke up your ass and show all the sunshine and rainbow photos we took at the beach

but let's face it, some days just crash and burn. The kids were basically one meltdown after another and it was sheer torture. They all had sand in every possible crack and crevice, including in their ears, noses, and lady parts.
CJ's hair was crusted with wet and dry sand. It was like a beach day gone horribly wrong.

I felt sorry for our friends who had to deal with the aftermath in their home at dinner. CJ could not quit touching every inch of their breakable things, Eli just whined and complained about each choice we made, and Natalie who napped like an angel just hung out with the adults and was civilized. I wish I could say the same about the other demon spawn kids. I should have shot video of the temper tantrums so that you could feel me but no one needs or wants to see that. It was like a bad car wreck, you know you are not supposed to stop and gawk. So just move along.

So tell you have a family Mission Statement I can borrow? I am not completely convinced our new and improved mantra is gonna cut it!


Wendy said...

We don't have one... but I so want one now... wish I would have thought of that back when my twins were born. Regardless, the new mission sounds suitable for the situation (if nothing else, it made me laugh until I cried... mostly because I can SO relate!). Good luck!
Wendy (CMOTC)

Nothing shocks me anymore... said...

LOL! I love it! No Family mission statement here either. I have taken to rewriting the Serenity prayer: God grant me the Serenity to accept the children who drive me crazy, the courage to to deal with them in public and the wisdom to not leave marks on them when I beat them! ( LOL!)...When my hubby is starting to hit his wall of sanity I randomly repeat.. Children are a heritage ofthe lord, they are a blessing... He usually gets a laugh from that...

Anonymous said...

love the idea of a mission statement...makes the family sound so perfect! just know that you are approaching the sweet spot (post preschool/pre-hormones!) at least this is what i tell myself!

Michele S said...

No mission statement, but I've been sleeping with four children in two twin beds pulled together to make a king. I think I have permanant creases from sleeping in the crack. We are all well rested and lovely. No tantrums here.

I need therapy after this trip, but we are all just happy happy happy.

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