Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The New Albany Pool Barbies

I took all the kids, Cousin Isabel and Argenida to the Plain Township Aquatic Center- also known as the New Albany Public Pool. I love seeing the big time tax dollars put to good use, so in the Summertime going to the library and this pool are tops on the list. Cha-ching!

Have you ever seen a public pool that offers a zero entry water wonderland like this?

This is far better, cleaner, and cheaper than any water park I have ever seen. Six Flags, Worlds of Fun, and Cedar Point have got nothin on the New Albany pool. I love New Albany and if you have a gaggle of kids, you would love it too.

I noticed a disturbing trend of Mommies at the pool. For lack of better description I have labeled them the "Barbie Moms." These are women who are focused in the way that the Barbie doll is a false sense of normal. I am not perfect, I do not pretend to be perfect and when it comes to image I hope that anyone who knows me thinks I am good parent who has her priorities straight. When I am hanging out at the pool and enjoying the moment it is hard not to look at the Barbie moms. You see, a Barbie mom sticks out from the rest with her different appearance and accessories. I noticed Bleach Blond Bulimic Barbie
She ordered and ate about $25 worth of items from the snack bar. No one eats and digests food and is this thin. Her over processed blond locks matched her deep dark tan in the unhealthy image department. There was Back Tattoo Barbie with braided hair and a blue bikini but her belly button ring is sold separately. She is best friends with the Brunette tramp stamp barbie who sports a black string bikini and who spent 2 hours talking on her cell phone while her kids were in the pool. I also saw Punk Rock Barbie with three colors of hairand these awesome animal print shorts. I am sure she is a highly collected barbie. The big breast implant Barbiecomes with self tanning cream and a loofah for those hard to reach areas. Of course I am not thin enough to even be in the Barbie category but if and when Lane Bryant makes a doll, I might be able to be the Jewish American Princess version complete with Chanel sunglasses, Pucci tunic and 50 SPF. Not to be sexist, I did spy a nice Ken Daddy Doll tooand his baby was adorable. This trend of pool Barbies is making want a tummy tuck tomorrow.

Thankfully there were more Pregnant Barbies than I could count and I was not the biggest one in sight. I did not take any pictures of the plethora of preggos because I am not that mean- next to child molesters and Bernie Madoff anyone who randomly takes photos of women wearing maternity bathing suits should be ashamed of themselves. I could not go there. I was actually a little scared to get in the water for fear of the pregnancies being contagious. When you live in an area with excellent schools, nice homes and pools like this, you get residents that have as many kids as I do. I am just so glad to be at a stage where we can go to this kind of place and enjoy ourselves.

So from now on, we will go to the pool to play with our pool toys, not our Barbies.


Aaryn said...

you better take me there when I come! Don't worry, I don't have a maternity bathing suit, and I don't plan on getting one :) But that water looks amazing right now!!!!!

Triplethefunplus2 said...

Okay, how far are you from me are you??? I'm in the Canton area. I wanna swim there! I wanna see some Barbies and make fun of them! OH and PUNK BARBIE was soooo sporting a Kate do!! UGH!!

If we live this close, we should meet up some day! You are a hoot! :P

Amy said...

New Albany is a Northeast suburb of Columbus.

I had friends trying to get me to take the kids to this pool last summer, but I was afraid of all the New Albany moms in their perfect swimsuits to don one myself. Now I have a newborn and once again have an excuse not to subject myself to that! Thanks for the warning!!

Anonymous said...

I hope one of the women in your photos sees her image and sues you for slander!

nitpicky said...

Yo, anon -- it would be libel, not slander. Geesh.

RRL mama said...

Helene- you constantly crack me up. I know you mean no harm by showing the Barbie Moms. I love your blog because you tell it like it is and I get some great ideas from you- if you can do it with four kids under four I should be able to do it with my two.

Sorry some people don't "GET YOU" and I would be one of the people who respects your sense of humor and your parenting style.

Anyone who talks to your children will know that you have done a great job.

Keep on keepin on Mama!

Lexi said...

OMG.... I know Bleach Blond Bulimic Barbie!! You are too funny! I came across your blog and I am now a huge fan. I could sit and read for hours. Keep up the blog it is so entertaining. Especially when you are speaking of our white picket Barbie Doll world! :)

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