Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Jumparounds also known as the crack cocaine of rap bands for toddlers

Whew, with a title like this I am sure I will get a bunch of google hits, but how in my right mind can I call the proper attention to my latest rant. The Jumparounds. The newest addition to preschool on tv. Pardon me while I hurl.

I could not help but notice the short music videos between our favorite shows. I noticed them because the annoying music and over-choreographed dance moves are gawd awful. As a parent I try to walk the fine line between my needs and wants and those of my offspring. When it comes to the Jumparounds there is little compromise. My kids LOVE them and I HATE them. This would normally be the end of the story because as an adult in my home, it is my way or the highway, but the Jumparounds are like crack cocaine for toddlers. They are addicted. My children need methadone for their dependency on the queer Jumparounds. All four of my kids have re-named themselves and I am now the mama of Twist, Marina, Shout and Kiki...and the worst part is CJ is calling himself Marina. Oy Vay. The shame.

I am sure the fabulous folks at Nick are proud of their latest creation. I am less than enthralled, especially since during a rap segment the beat box makes the ratta tatta tat and the matching hand movement is illustrated by a pointed gun motion. Appropriate? Not.

The Jumparounds are like nails on a chalkboard unless you are three years old and think the sun rises and sets with Kiki, Shout, Twist and Marina. Meanwhile, I want to open a vein. The sad part is that this won't be the last time my kids and I disagree on music....omg, I did not know that I would have this problem while they were still in preschool. I assumed we would have different tastes by the time they were in junior high- but c'mon they are three years old for crying out loud. At three they want to listen to this crap- why must they have an opinion?

Listen to these short videos if you have not had the "pleasure" of being familiar with the sound of unadulterated hell.







I am convinced the Jumparounds are pure evil. I am sure if you play the music videos backwards they say, "John Lennon is dead" or something like that. You heard about them here first- The JUMPAROUNDS- be forewarned.

15 comments:

The Wright Trips said...

Oh Helene! My kids are obsessed with them, too. Holy crap, that is hilarious. And the choreographed moves? OMG! What about the white boy who raps? I get embarassed for him. Glad to know my kids aren't the only ones with a passion for The Jumperarounds!

Anonymous said...

You people need to get a life! There is nothing wrong with the jumparounds and if you have nothing better to do than to bash this new group, then you need to get some therapy, get over it! There are more important things in this world to worry about, please.

The Husband said...

I love the Jumparounds. Given a choice between "puzzle time" or getting potty points from Blue's Clue's Steve, I'll take the Jump Arounds any day. (Besides, Kiki's kinda cute). I haven't seen this much high quality, artificially produced entertaiment since the Archies came out with "Sugar Sugar." And in response to Anonymous, when you have little kids, this is the stuff you do worry about. What they watch on TV impacts them dramatically and it great to know that Noggin provides kiddie entertainment that teaches values and basics. I grew up on Roadrunner, Tom & Jerry and Bugs Bunny . . . and I couldn't count till 10 till I was 10, and I thought that if I dropped a bowling ball on someone's head they'd grow a big lump but recover after the G.I Joe and Barbie commercials. Jump Arounds, rock on!

Connor said...

I have to say thank you Helene. I was losing it because everyone I turned to I would start venting my spleen to them and, since they don't have Noggin, let alone kids, I came off like the psychopath. This band grinds down my soul a little bit every time I hear them. I hate to Monkees this issue up, but they aren't all playing and singing you know. There's no way that soulful black lady's voice comes out of the two-dimensional Kiki. Milli Vanilli will never die. My personal nemesis, my Hector, is Twist. With a forehead like that, who's he trying to convince he's young, let alone tapped into the whole white "rap" thing? It is just painful. Painful. To the morons who like them, fine go to the real Nick and spoon feed you and your kids the "special" Kool-Aid high fructose corn syrup Jim Jones crap and leave my Noggin the hell alone.

Connor said...

Sorry to be so vehement on the subject, people can like what they like, but it's just pap. Again, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone! More Moose & Zee! (But, seriously Moose, even my kid knows where all the cards are by now.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I gotta say... this group is catered to KIDS!! As long as kids enjoy the group, let it be. I for one don't care too much about it, but if you can so much as make an entire blog about, there must be a secret obsession with them that you can't come to terms with or admit. Find something constructive to blog about. BTW, for those of you that are concerned, I found this site because my child was wanting more info on the group.

Anonymous said...

I don't know who you are- but that was freaking hysterical! My 3 year old is equally obsessed.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

To the person who commented on June 12 (after my comment that Helene's blog is HILARIOUS): PMS time sweetheart? Go take a pill and if her blog is really that offensive to you- simple don't read it, dumb-ass. : )
Helene- you gave me a great laugh yesterday- Thanks!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

come to Central Park this coming Sunday 7/12 and see the Jumparounds (now re-named the Fresh Beat Band) along with DJ Lance Rock & Brobee (of Yo Gabba Gabba!), who is the headlining act.

Susan said...

I have to say I really did get a good giggle from all of this...and why am I reading this post now in late Aug MONTHS after it was originally written? Well because my 3 year old who also is addicted to the Jump Arounds now gets in screaming matches with the TV set when they come on sporting their new name "The Fresh Beat Band". I as the loving mom was desperate to calm him down and give him a reason for this name change he finds so disturbing. No reasons have really be found, but this blog post sure made my day and made me feel less guilty for my total annoyance for this mis-cast group of kids. I could do better selecting 4 randoms off of the street for these rolls than I think Nick casting people did. Oh well...don't get me going on this topic. I still need to find the reason for the name change before my little know it all has another bout of yelling at the TV!

Blog Archive

The older crowd

The older crowd
Amanda and Mitchell

A blast from the past...makes it all so real now

counter