As if the last blog entry weren't bad enough, now this?? I decided it would be sweet to make a movie-video for Amanda. I know she misses the kids so much and I honestly believed they would say something precious to her via my digital camera. What started as a good idea went horribly WRONG....and I had no idea just how NOT precious Caleb James' words would be! (click the little "play" arrow and make sure your speakers are on loud for full effect!)
Keep in mind that last Summer when CJ was diagnosed with Failure to Thrive and possible mitochondrial disease, I was beside myself with fear and grief. As the options and diagnosis went from bad to worse, I had to grasp at tiny blessings to get through the days. I distinctly recall praying to G-d and asking him to let CJ have something I could deal with and manage. I watched CJ just laying in the hospital crib- lifeless and lethargic- it was right then and there that I begged G-d to give him the strength to be challenging, annoying and a normal toddler. I wanted him to play with the gadgets in the exam room instead of just clinging to me or Jeff. I wanted him to run around touching everything in sight. I wanted him to talk like a normal kid, and I guess in hindsight I got what I asked for. To me, this is my miracle. I can smile knowing that the tiny, fragile, sick little boy is no where in sight- or sound for that matter. Where he learned to say Gawddammit you may ask? Ask the daddy. That is his doing I am afraid. If he was cursing about Chanel make-up going up 55% in 2 years, that you could pin on me, but not the Gee Dee words, that is not my style.
People have asked me how I can deal with all the antics and not get mad. It is easy- I choose to see the humor in it, even if only for a moment. I smiled as I picked up the hot steamy turd in is room yesterday because I knew that aside from being disgusting and vile, I would have something to write about on my blog. I had to quit taping him tonight because I almost started laughing to the point of crying. Crying with tears of joy and thanks that my prayers have been answered! Even if he was cursing in the worst way. I hope Amanda enjoys the movie!
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