Thursday, October 30, 2008

My NON Spending Spree

This post has been months in the making. You see, my adorable and finanically responsible spouse has placed a moretorium on spending. No extra cash out- period! I like a challenge in most situations but this one....not so much. Being the compliant, co-dependent and doting wife (total sarcasm) I immediately cut out some expenses. The first thing to go was the cleaning lady. Next to go, dry cleaning. It is wash and wear now for us- how revolting. Sadly, I have put a stop to salon pedicures, thankfully it is boot season and no one will have to see my calloused and hidious hooves, except for the man sleeping next to me- and afterall, this was his call. I bet that in a few weeks after I snag him with my cracked, dry, scaly heels he will re-think the added $82 a month. Doubtful, but we will see. And finally- no more extra cirricular coffee. Bye Bye Starbucks hello Folgers. I have decided to brew my own coffee and run it through my self installed IV, so that I will have enough energy to function, shuffle half a dozen kids, clean the house, iron my husband's shirts and produce my own revenue at the office. I am not sure my dear partner realizes that all this "saving" will force him to pay for my cosmetic procedures that much sooner. Having a frazzled and worn out wife is expensive in the long run- I guess my man does not see the big picture here.

So I have been keeping a tight hold on my wallet. For example I bought Eli a new pair of school shoes and Natalie 3 pairs of panties and I spent a whole TWENTY SIX CENTS...$.026! I have the receipt right here, and you can clearly see that after I bought only clearance merchandise, (take an additional 50% off) and used my $10 off your entire purchase coupon, my total before tax was TWENTY FOUR CENTS. The retail price of the shoes was originally $24.99 and the 3 pack of panties started at $12.50! I proudly saved the sales receipt so that Jeff could see for himself. I even circled the total cash spent to make it easy for him to review it. I think that spending the change in my van ash-tray for items we actually need is an okay move- right?

While we are talking about my non spending....let me address an important fact about dressing my kids. I do buy them designer clothing and accessories. The cutest stuff and the fanciest labels. That is my thing people. Hello??? Yeah right, just because my husband is cheap does not mean my children will be outfitted from Wal-mart! I buy on clearance a season ahead. Right now I am finding summer items for 90% off and I am gauging the size for next summer and stocking up. The boys Ralph Lauren Polo shirts were less than $10 each this week at Marshalls and I found 6pairs of POLO shorts for $3.50 a piece at TJ Maxx. But here is the real kicker... after my precious angels have worn these clothes, I will list and sell them on ebay and get more for them than I originally paid. I have been operating this way for over a year now and I am pleased to report that we are totally in the black for wardrobe accountability. I am the queen of bargain shopping. It is my cardio. My crowning (pun intended) glory came when I bought Charlotte her first Juicy Couture velour hoodie and yoga pant set at Neiman's Last Call. The retail price was $128 for the outfit. I paid $36 on the reduced rack, saved an additional 15% with a bonus coupon and shipped it along with all the other items back home (no tax) for a total of $30.60. Last week I sold the set for $45 profit after the ebay listing and paypal fees. I do not allow the kids to eat, crawl through rocks & dirt, play with sharpie markers, or smoke (hee hee)in their designer duds. Ever. Now you can understand why my kids eat topless at home. We have to protect my investment in the clothing. Don't think they do not have fun though, c'mon you have seen the pictures. The queen lets them reek havoc in and out of the castle- so long as their clothes stay pristine and are in like new condition.

I am sure this spending freeze is temporary. Obviously, I am not the kind of girl who pays retail, ever, but I could really really really use a Venti, skinny, dolce caramel latte once in awhile. At least while I am busy listing stuff on ebay and plotting my crazy hair-brained schemes.

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