Friday, September 12, 2008

Eli helps us all breathe easier

Ahhhhh- the good stories I will be able to tell these kids when they grow up:

I went upstairs to get CJ after his nap. Eli and Natalie were already awake and downstairs. I left them "unsupervised" in the gated family room for no more than 45 seconds. It takes me longer to use the bathroom, which is too much information, I know, I know! But seriously, in those short 45 seconds Eli was up to no good.

When I returned to the family room I was overwhelmed by the scent of VICKS vapor rub. It was so strong it actually started to make my eyes water and my nose run. Scanning the room quickly, I was able to pinpoint the source of the odor.... Eli. Covered head to toe in the Menthol Balm.

In an instant my mind flashed back to the Saturday Night Live skit at the Lupner's house- if you are old enough to recall SNL when it was funny you may remember Jane Curtin and Dan Ackroyd playing the nasally and nerdy couple. While he is nuzzling her he says, Awe Lisa, What is that fragrance you are wearing? Ahhhh, Todd, it is Vicks Vaporub. And they snort and laugh about it. There was little laughing in my family room, mostly just tears from the fumes.

My boy, Eli- the monkey- climbed up 3 shelves on the bookshelf, snagged the humongous Costco sized jar, opened it, schmeared the grease all over himself, and was completed coated in 45 seconds. All 6 ounces were used!
I should have been pissed that he was naughty but it was difficult for me to be truly mad, okay I was mildly peaved- annoyed- and inconvienced. In a sense I was kind of proud that he was physcially able to pull off such a stunt with supreme speed and agility. This preemie was "gross motor delayed" a year ago and despite all his antics, this episode took some skills. He climbed up the shelf like a ring-tailed lemur and got the jar, unscrewed the cap, and applied it all over himself. Skills I tell you. Skills!

I quickly discovered that being dipped in Vicks was pretty much punishment enough. It was nasty. He was burning from head to toe and did not like it at all. I stopped to take pictures of him only because he was so shiny. I am sure the smell will trigger the memories for him in the future, and I want to be able to show his therapist where this adversion to Vicks comes from... Just my keen parenting sense in action, right?

After all is said and done Eli and I had the talk about danger and getting into things that do not belong to him. I have a hunch none of my blabbering got through to him. I just took a deep breath (it was easily done) and proceeded to bathe him with Dawn dishwashing liquid- the grease cutter! Thanks Eli, for making my glamourous mommie days so breathtaking.

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